Yesterday I was having lunch with a coworker and he was telling me how his daughter told him the night before that she couldn’t wait to be a grown-up. He asked her why and she responded “so I can stay up real late like you and watch t.v.”. He started laughing and said “It’s not by choice, honey. It’s called insomnia.” This got me thinking… kids really have a warped view of what it’s like to be an adult.
I remember as a child I could not wait to grow up so I could “do whatever I want, whenever I want”. I think that is the perception that most kids have. And it could not be more wrong. Guess what??? After 30-something years, I’m still waiting for that day! Now, not only do I have a boss at work telling me what to do, but a husband and two little tyrants at home.
Kids really do not know how good they have it. Toddlers in particular. They have got it made. Here is the evidence to back my theory:
- They can say whatever is on their mind. My daughter has no problem walking into a public restroom and announcing very loudly that it ‘stinks like poop’, while the person in the next stall clearly has not finished (yes, she’s done this). If I say it, I’m considered rude.
- If they fart, people laugh and think it’s cute. If I fart, people think I’m disgusting and scatter like cockroaches.
- They can wear the craziest things. My daughter wears a tutu, a tiara, plastic heels, and carries a wand when we go shopping at Target. People stop to say “how adorable”. I dress like that and they’ll be bringing in the men in white coats to get me.
- They get breakfast, lunch, and dinner made for them. Breakfast for me is licking the peanut butter off the knife and I’ve been known to call a Milky Way lunch.
- Someone wipes their ass. Okay, I don’t have anything for this one. Personally I don’t mind wiping my own. It’s just the fact that I don’t like wiping their’s.
- They make messes and other people pick them up. My car’s been a mess for 2 years. I’m still waiting for the mice to eat the raisins and Cheerios off the floor (yes, there was a mouse living in my car- a story for another time).
- They have their own personal stylist. I would LOVE to have outfits laid out for me every morning. It sure would reduce the amount of days that I’m late for work.
- They get naptime. Are you kidding me? What I wouldn’t do to have someone come around everyday at 1pm to tell me it’s nappy time.
So there it is. I’ve pled my case.
Feel free to add to my list. Why does your kid have it made?