I'm just a mommy living in a toddlers world

Posts tagged ‘blogging’

“I do these moves all the time!”

My daughter love, love, loves the Just Dance 3 video game for X Box 360 Kinect.  She’s been begging me for weeks now to dance with her and I finally got the okay from the doctor to resume normal physical activity.  I don’t know if this is what you would consider “normal”, but my daughter seems to get a kick out of it.

I have to admit that I really enjoy this game, too.  It’s an excuse for me to make a total and complete ass of myself, while getting some excercise, and entertaining my daughter all at the same time.  I call it multitasking.

I even made an effort to dance with her when I was 9 months pregnant.  I can only imagine what the neighbors thought (they have a good view into our front window).   I must have looked like a giant hippo having a seizure.  My husband has video of this and yes, I will hurt him severely if he shows anyone.

The other night we finally had a chance to try one of the dances we had never done before.  My daughter got real excited during one part and yelled, “Ooh, ooh.  I know this dance move!”

I said,”You do?”  She replied,”Ya, this is my dance move.  I do these moves all the time!”  Then she started dancing like a crazy woman.  She almost took her baby brother out in the process.

I didn’t realize my 3 year old had her own signature move.  It kind of reminds me of Elaine’s dancing on Seinfeld.  The video speaks for itself.  All I have to say is my kid is awesome!

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I’m Beaming!

Not what you’re thinking.  Get your mind out of the gutter!

Yesterday I was nominated for my first blogging award, The Sunshine Award.  Yay!!!!  I received this fantastic honor from fellow mommy blogger wedelmom.  Thank you wedelmom!  It feels great to know that there are people in this world who enjoy hearing about the craziness that is my life.  🙂

The Sunshine Award

1. Link the award to the person who gave it to me.

2. Answer the questions about myself. (See below)

3. Nominate 10 bloggers for the award.

4. Link my nominees to the post and comment on their blog, letting them know about the award.

Here we go…

Sunshine questions:

1.  What is my favorite number?  17.  My husband and I were both born on the 17th, so it must be a great number.  It comes up a lot in KENO, too.

2. Favorite Non-Alcoholic Beverage?  Chocolate shakes, but I don’t drink them often.  I’ll have to go with club soda if we’re talking about an everyday thing.

3. Favorite Animal?  Frog.  I’m not sure why, I’ve just always really liked them.  Okay maybe loved them.  Enough to have one tattooed just above my butt when I was nineteen.  Yup, that should look pretty in another 10 years.

3.  Facebook or Twitter?  Facebook.  I don’t have much experience with Twitter and that little bird annoys the crap out of me.  Just kidding.

4. My Passion?  Creating.  I love using my hands to make things.  I believe I have enough hobbies to last me a few lifetimes.

5. Favorite Day of the Week?  I’m going to go with Friday, because even though you still have to go to work, you know that at the end of the day you’re free.  The anticipation of what the weekend has to bring reminds me of being a teenager.

6.  Favorite Flower?  I love lotus flowers.  Blue orchids are really beautiful, too.

And the Sunshine Nominees are

1.  you and mie:  This blog motivates me to create.  She shares the same interests that I have: pattern making, sewing, and taking pictures of her beautiful little girl.

2.  Craft Schmaft:  This is a blog by one crafty mommy.  Her ideas are so cute.  She makes these adorable little sock creatures…

3.  California Pixie:  Love this girl’s style.  Her blog is filled with lots of colorful pictures of her eats, her travels, and her cool vintage style.

4.  Leanne Shirtliffe ~ Ironic Mom:  Funny, funny, funny.  Read if you want to laugh.

5.  Raising My Rainbow:  Very inspiring.  Makes you realize that people are people.  Period.  Accept them for who they are.

Okay, so I only have five nominees because I’m fairly new to this blogging world.  I think the ones I’ve chosen are really good and hope you enjoy reading them as much as I do!

“This is not for girls, this is for Daddies”

About a month ago, I was in my bedroom putting away laundry.  My daughter was in her room playing, or so I thought.  All of the sudden she came running into the bedroom, yelling,”Mommy, there’s a girl taking her shirt off”.

I had no idea what she was talking about.  I turned quickly to see her running towards me with her little arm stretched out and my iPhone in hand.  She must have theived it right out of my pocketbook when I wasn’t looking.  I asked her,”What girl?  What are you talking about?”

She handed over the phone and said,”Mommy, look the girl on your phone is taking her shirt off.  This is not for kids.”

I grabbed it from her and looked.  Sure enough in the tiny thumbnail, there was a woman lifting her shirt off in front of a man.  Thank God the woman had a bra on at least.  “What is this?”, I said.  “What are you watching?  You’re right, this is not for little girls.”

She looked at me very seriously, shaking her head, and said,”No, this is not for girls, this is for Daddies.”

Time for Eye Cream???

I was sitting next to the tub, giving my daughter a bath when she leaned over and gently touched right next to my eye.  She said,”Mommy, you have cracks in your eyes.  Is it because you’re getting old?”  I started to laugh.  Then she leaned in closer for a better look and said,”You have purple (capillaries) on your eyelids.  Just like Grammy.  Grammy’s an old lady.”  I said,”Okay, time to get out.”  I didn’t want to hear what she was going to notice next.

I think it’s time to change to softer lighting in the bathroom.

Toddler Fashion: Sometimes it’s not worth the battle

This morning my daughter insisted on wearing her rain boots to daycare, even though it was sunny with a predicted high of 90 degrees.  I think they are a nice compliment to the tank top and bubble shorts.  What do you think?  I’m sure her feet will smell very nice when she gets home this afternoon.

A Visit from Tinkle Bell

TINKLEBELL

Last night we were paid a visit from a cute little fairy I like to call Tinkle Bell.  Tinkle Bell looks very similar to Tinker Bell, she’s petite, blond, and has the cutest little button nose.  However, instead of sprinkling pixie dust she sprinkles her urine.  All over our bed.  Dear Tinkle Bell, I really appreciate you visiting at 1:30 in the morning, especially since I washed the sheets yesterday.  You will be in my thoughts today as I do laundry all afternoon, again.

Toddler Multitasking

I walked into the bathroom and found my daughter in this position.  When I asked her what she was doing she said,”Coloring and practicing my ‘ynastics’ (her plank position for gymnastics).  What a go-getter, learning to multitask at such a young age!

“Look, it’s a Tac-o-dile!”

My 3 year old daughter is very independent.  She likes to do everything herself.  Including going to the bathroom.  Whenever I try to help her I usually hear, “I need privacy.  Go over dere in your room.”  Can’t say that I blame her.  After all, who likes an audience when they’re pooping, right?

Most of the time she will call me in for the butt wiping ceremony.  Believe it or not, this is a good thing.  On occasion she does it herself.  This has to be followed by a thorough hand scrubbing.

Yesterday morning after breakfast she started doing a little thing we call the “poo-poo dance”.  After questioning her several times, she finally admitted she had to go.  She was really into this episode of Dora and agreed to go only if I would “crause” her show so she wouldn’t miss the ending.

I helped her get up onto her little princess toilet seat and left her to do her business.  A couple of minutes later I hear yelling,”Mom!  Mom!”, so I ran over thinking something was wrong.  Usually I just get the “I’m done” from her.  I went into the bathroom to see her standing next to the toilet, pointing in at what she had just “created”.  I asked her,”What’s wrong?  Are you okay?”.  She said excitedly,”Look Mom!  It’s like a Tac-o-dile (crocodile) sticking up out of the water!”

Now, I’m not sure if I should be proud that she knows her animals and the habitats they live in or if I should be concerned that she’s examining her poop long enough to figure this out.

Why is it sticking up like that???

Yesterday I went out to lunch with my mother and my 87-year-old grandmother.  I also had the little man with me.  When we got to the restaurant, I pulled him out of his car seat and smelt something not so pleasant.  I decided to change him on the back tail gate as the public restroom changing tables skeev me out.

Instead of heading inside to grab us a table, my family decided that I needed an audience while cleaning poop.  I don’t know if it was the cool breeze, but when I opened the little mans diaper, he was sporting a full on baby boner.  Usually this is a sign that he’s going to start pissing all over the place, so I hurried up and covered it.  I waited a minute and then took the diaper down again.  His little woody was still there.  My mom asked,”Do you need some help?”, then looked over and shrieked,”What is that???  Why is it sticking up like that?”  Mom, if I have to explain this to you then I have no idea how I ended up here in the first place.

With all the commotion going on, my grandmother got curious and decided to peek over.  Her response was,”Oh my.  It’s been a while since I’ve seen one of those.”  Freakin hilarious.  Gotta love the family.

Sex. Um, no thanks.

Tuesday I had my 5 week postpartum checkup with my OB/Gyn.  Basically, this is a follow-up visit where the doctor asks you a bunch of questions to see how you’re coping both mentally & physically after child-birth.  They then give you an internal exam to make sure everything is “back to normal”.  Yay, lots of fun.  I’m not sure why I get so nervous about these visits.  You would think that after 9 months of people shoving their hands up my hoo-haw I wouldn’t be so modest, but I still get very uncomfortable.  I feel like a twelve-year-old girl who is getting the sex talk for the first time.  It’s just awkward.  Well, here is how the visit went:

The first question out of the doctor’s mouth was,”Have you had intercourse yet?”.  Um, noooo.  I can barely cough, sneeze, and laugh without doubling over in pain nevermind having a 200lb man flailing around on top of me.  I think if he tried to come near me at this point my vagina would grow teeth and bite his wiener right off.

Then she asks,”Would you like to be on birth control?”.  I politely said “No thanks”.  For the rare occasion when the “magic” does happen, I’ll use other measures.  I call it the “pull out” method.  My husband calls it “dick control”.

The doctor then asks, “Well, what will you use for birth control?”  I say, “I have two children under the age of 3.  Isn’t that enough?” giggling.  She didn’t seem amused.  I then went on to say, “My daughter still sleeps in the bed with us (my husband has lovingly nicknamed her Cock Block).  I’m still not quite sure how I ended up pregnant the 2nd time.”  Still no laughing – it was a tough crowd.

At this point I felt pressured to act like an adult, so I told her,”We will use condoms”.  This is BS.  My husband once told me at the beginning of our relationship that they strangle his dick.  I might as well be throwing a plastic bag over his head and suffocating him.  Yes- he is a drama queen.

The doctor then says,”Okay, great, condoms”.  Now it was time for the exam.  She tells me,”Just lay back and relax”.  I love how they tell you to relax.  Lady, you have your hand shoved up my vagina and you didn’t even buy me dinner.  Get me a drink, and then I’ll relax.  She then says,”You’re clenching up.”  I want to say “Yes, I’m clenching up.  You know why???  Because it fucking hurts!!!!”.  But the polite me says,”Oh, sorry” as I try to relax.

Finally the exam is over.  She tells me,”Everything looks good.  You are fine to resume with intercourse after 6 weeks.”  Greeaaat, just the news I wanted to hear.  Can I at least get a couple months off???  It’s bad enough I have a kid attached to my boob for 10 hours a day.  Now you want me to “entertain” the husband, too?

I talked to the hubby later that afternoon and he eagerly asked,”So what did she say?  Did you get the okay?”.  I told him,”Everything looks good, but I still have some swelling.  She thinks it would be best to wait until 8 weeks to prevent any damage to my incision.”  So I lied.  Sue me.  Another 2 weeks won’t kill him, right?  Hopefully by then I’ll be in the mood.